Her Written Thoughts: Page 3

Text Messaging.


[1] Unread Text Message:
Inbox: Good Morning Beautiful.

I smile.Uneasily. It’s only been four days, two missed calls and an idle text message. Should I reply? I reply.

Sent: Hi Stranger. How are you?
Waiting to hear an excuse as to why he’s screening my calls and avoiding my texts.
Inbox: I’m good. You?
Excuse Me? No rambling of excuses. Different.
Sent: I’m fine.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
Inbox: Hey, sorry about the last couple days. I went out of town and didn’t realize I left my phone until we was well on the road.
Ah ha. Knew it was coming. Unfortunate characteristic of a man. Reasons. Justifications. Apologies. All parallel to excuses in my book.
Sent: ::Nonchalantly:: It’s cool.
Inbox: So when are you coming back to town?
Sent: Not for another two weeks.
Inbox: So you’ll miss my birthday?
Sent: Yep. Rain check until I come home?
Inbox: Sounds good.
Sent: You have yet to return my call? We haven’t had a phone conversation.
Inbox: Oh, it’ll happen.
Sent: I’m not calling you though, I’ve maxed my limit.
Inbox: I have no problem calling.
Sent: Even better.

It’s been one week. Seven days. Too many hours. No text. No call. No apology. Surprising? Expecting? Disappointing? Sort of. Guys tend to get lazy. careless. typical. But somewhere in the middle. Not the beginning. Once they’ve made the catch. But it’s merely the amateur days. And he's falling back so soon. I suck my teeth. He's yet to catch. So I think. Or is it that obvious? That I'm interested. Interested in him. Have I made his work easier? Slightly. Questionable. Who doesn’t call me back? Wondering. Pondering. Stumped. Anger heightening. Doesn’t resonate. Just doesn’t. I'm unsettled. Clearly, dissatisfied.

[1] Unread Text Message
Inbox: Are you mad?

What?! Am I mad. Oh, I'm mad alright. But you won’t know that.

Sent: Why would I be?
Inbox: We haven’t gotten to know each other.
Oh, you’ve noticed.
Sent: Oh, to build something you mean?
Inbox: Yea, that’s what this is about right?
Sent: Sure.
The tables are turning. I grin.
Inbox: So you’re looking for a man right? I can be that.
Got him.
Sent: I don’t need a man. I just like the perks of having one.
Inbox: Perks?
Sent: Yeah, but even your Jag ain't looking good to me. Hold off on the phone call please.

Satisfaction. Accomplishment. Strength. I’ve gained it back. An empty inbox. An empty out box. I have won. I have Pride. Feelings. Emotions. Courage. And guys all too hastily try to break it. Crumble it. Burn it. Confidence. It’s key. It’s essential. A tool. A Token. A token of womanhood. Defiance. Defeat. Sorry, not me. Until. Yet until. He comes back. I have a weakness for the perks.
[1] Unread Text Message
Inbox: Can we try this again.

Draft (1): Yes…

I put the phone down.

I suck. I'm soft. I'm sweet. I've lost. Again.