Friday, November 07, 2008

Best Friends. . . Forever?

All too often, groups and pairs of friends begin to disconnect and take different paths. From parting ways for college, overbearing workloads, obsessive boyfriends and cat fights, there's always a hurdle in the female friendship.

Take Iyanna for instance. . .

Freshman year of college, no friends and a new campus. Finally identifying with another female on campus was not only an uplift but a brand new experience unto itself. She had male friends, ONLY. From shopping to outings, she was the leading lady. Having female friends was seemingly a stretch because her trust was hard to come by and her instant prejudgement came naturally. The typical 'all girls are 'catty' type. Becoming best friends with another girl on campus proved to be an ultimate freshman experience, from the clubs to the bar to on campus events. Three's a crowd, but two worked perfectly for them. Sophomore year rolls around and housing assignments change a bit. Iyanna rooms with six other girls, one of which not her freshman BFF. All by choice, all agreed and all understood. But when roommate bonding becomes a priority, her freshman bff becomes an 'option', so she assumes. Why do girls always become jealous when their original BFF branches off and attempts to add to the group? Is it because they choose not to share the attention? Because they feel they could be easily replaced? Or do they become materialistically jealous of the new found member? Have you had this problem? How do you solve the situation? Or does the situation solve itself?

And then, there's Jordan. . .

From childhood to young adulthood, her circle of friends evolved into a sisterhood. No need for the additional side friendships, they were each others backbones and were perfectly content with just the six of the them. From toothaches to heartaches they argued, fought and cried it out until the problem ceased to exist. Then they fell in love. With the new boyfriend always comes the friend who envy's, the overprotective cousin, and the blinded by love fictional 'princess' of the bunch. Losing one and adopting another man is not an easy adjustment for the other five, but hey they all manage to let is pass, right? Wrong. Being the friend who is the most loving, accepting, giving, and most judgemental all in one package, it was Jordan's turn to fall for a man. Not just any man, but one that evolved from a friend, to a brother, to an interest. As the other five encouraged her to woo him with her 'sweetheart' persona, the only barrier and hurdle was his unavailability. So, maybe he was talking to someone, but shes not a close friend and technically they're not together, right? Sort of. With a year rolling by, emotions and such a strong connection fluctuating from one really good day, to a really 'slap in the face day', it was time for it all to hit the fan. And when it did, girl did it hit hard. It was like a ten-way war between texting, instant messaging, facebook, phone calls, and emails of conversations being forwarded. Everyone had something to say and everyone was talking. In the end, friendships were lost, grudges were held and the only two who stood and stood together, were Jordan and the guy. After a long fought battle with delayed gratification why let go of all you've ever wanted to make your friends happy? Besides they're in love and happy and at one point you thought they could and should do better. 27 days later, her call log and text inbox has been hypnotized by his charming 'good mornings' and mushy 'i miss you's'. In the end, the sisterhood still stands, but their approval of the guy is still in the air. Ever been in love? Love that can finally be embraced after fighting against the odds - your best friends?

Meet Gabrielle. . .

Turning to your best friends is always a girls first and last resort. For the most part, they're not afraid to get down and dirty with tears, smeared eye liner and tissues. They immediately respond to the 'i need you now' text and they generally tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes, however, you just need a guys P.O.V. Every girl has a big brother, from birth or an 'adopted' older brother, there's always that one guy you can turn to. Dishing on the goods about your new guys is exciting for you, your bursting with smiles and skipping words just to get everything that happened on your first date out in one breath. For you it's sunny side up, then comes the rain. Big brother doesn't approve. He says 'He's a basketball player. . .You're not the only girl he talks to. . . you deserve better. . . there's just something about him. . .I'm disappointed'. Those last words feel like a thorn stinging her in the spine. Out of all of the emotions her story could possibly stir up in big brother's head, did disappoint have to be it? The only one that would make her re-analyze the date and consider ditching the 'player'. It sucks when you feel like your smile is truly genuine and one of your biggest comforts makes you uncomfortable. What then? Do you take his words so literal and miss out on the guy to erase big brothers disappoint? Or do you let him know where you hide the key to your heart is solely based on your comfort, and his support is all you wanted out of the chitchat? Have you ever been in such a catch?

No comments: